ok...so let's be honest...i totally have something i need to get off my chest!  Everyone who knows me, heard of me, or even will come in contact with me, knows ,knew, or will even know that my spiritual life has been faulty at times.  I mean...who hasn't!  I know that in my life I have done some things that I am not proud of.  One thing that I do not understand however is why people who claim to be "spiritual" ...if there is even such a state...can somehow justify their mistreatment of people who sit in my position of actually falling over and over.  for example...how can someone at Liberty be in such a high position like...let's just pick...uhh...SLD (Spiritual Life Director)...and claim that their life has been soo close to perfect that they may look down on me b/c my life has not.  How long can a "spiritual" person hold a grudge...let's say since we were about 12 or 13?  Also, is this person even more spiritual than myself when they can't even forgive me for something I did when I was a child.  When you are a child do you not think and reason as a child?  So is it even fair that she despises me for something i did when i was so young?  also, when i worked with her at a summer camp and she was in my face acting as my friend although she secretly can't stand me...does that not shine out as fake.  Yet, I have never hidden the fact that I struggle...and she holds me to more scrutiny than herself...is this how one should define Christianity?  If that is how Christianity is...then I want no parts of it.  I know Christ did not die for people to make Christianity their own own reason to look down on me for not being as good as themself.  I think that she should pluck the plank from her eye before she removes the speck from mine.  I live every moment in repentance for all the wrong that I've done. If God can forgive me then why does she feel she has the right to sit in judgement of me.

Pray for me...i am seriously struggling!

this past week...my wonderful bf and myself went to FL.  it was soo much fun.  we visited his Emo(aunt) and her family!  we went jet skiing and swimming soooo much!  it was sooo fun!!!  we ate A LOT of korean food!  it was great!  I've got some stuff to do before my bf and myself go out tonight!